Life

Hitting the Big 1.0

More first birthday parties are being turned into extravaganzas, with carousels, sundae bars and petting zoos. “The new wedding,” one party planner calls this. That, or a severe case of one-upmanship.

  zorik@nyu.edu

The catering hall is to mimic the bottom of the sea. Seaweed will hang from the ceilings, and fish will swim in the aquariums serving as table centerpieces. As a DJ sees to the music, a photographer and videographer will record the delight of the 200 guests. This isn’t another themed nuptial, though – it’s a plan for a $15,000 extravaganza for a one-year-old.

The over-the-top party is an increasingly popular way for parents to celebrate a child’s first birthday, especially on the coasts, party planners say.

“It’s the new trend of the century,” said Malvina Godish of Black Tie Affair, who is planning the aqua fest. “The new wedding.”

Doting older parents, social competition and higher discretionary incomes seem to be driving the practice, event planners suggest. It’s certainly not happening everywhere – a survey by the party planning company Peppers and Pollywogs found that only 6 percent of families spend over $750 on a child’s party – but even that percentage would put the number of hearty partiers in the millions.

Emily Klyachman, 33, a corporate vice president in New York, was among those who celebrated her first child’s first birthday in a big way.

She and her husband had a catering hall tricked out like a carnival. They hired costumed characters, and had donkeys and rabbits brought in for petting zoo. They even brought in a carousel.

“I was one of those people that said I would never do this,” Klyachman said.

But before she knew it, she was orchestrating an extravaganza: buffet dinner for 100 adults with an open bar, and six hours of entertainment for 55 kids, including sand art and magic shows. Cost: $20,000.

She said she did it all to welcome little Gabby. “We’re just so happy to have her,” Klyachman said.

Other parents who threw elaborate parties said they, too, were doing it to welcome their children into the world, sometimes after conception difficulties or other birth complications.

One Hawaiian mother with lupus gave birth prematurely, at seven months, to an infant who weighed only 1 pound 13 ounces. When the child survived her first year, the parents staged a major fete in California, inviting 300 friends and relatives. They arranged for magicians and clowns, and gave out leis and special “thank you” mementos.

“We chose to have a big bash to celebrate that my baby is our miracle baby,” said the mother, who asked that her name not be used.

“Despite all the setbacks we encountered, we had ourselves a beautiful baby girl,” she said. “And yes, I was extremely satisfied, and I wouldn’t change a thing!”

Higher infant mortality rates used to be a reason to celebrate first birthdays large.

“Medical technology wasn’t all that great, and a lot of babies never made it to their first birthday,” said Kailani Kamaka of Honolulu. “That’s why when they did, everyone celebrated.”

But though infant mortality rates improved, large-party traditions survived.

One-year-old Kacie’s party was in hotel ballroom. Kamaka arranged for a bouncer (those blow-up houses kids bounce around in), a clown show, cotton candy and popcorn machines and a make-your-own-sundae bar. There were some 200 hundred guests – and of course a video slideshow of the birthday girl.

“I was really happy with the way things turned out,” said Kamaka. “It was perfect!”

The big first birthday is also a Hawaiian tradition, according to Kamaka.

“It is almost kind of expected. If I had a choice, I’d prefer to have a simple one, since the child probably won’t remember it anyway,” she said.

But tradition dies hard. Now Kamaka is planning a nearly identical party for next daughter Kiana, now10 months old. If anything, Kiana’s party will be even more elaborate, with a longer guest list plus a magic bubble show, in which a clown can place a person inside a bubble.

“It’s more for the parents,” said Lisa Kothari, a Seattle party planner who co-founded Peppers and Pollywogs.

“They’re competing with other parents to do as much or more,” said Kothari, who has managed more than 500 kids’ parties.

Make a friend in Lamaze class, attend her baby’s big first birthday bash, and you may feel obliged to try and top her — possibly marking the beginning of a “my child is better than yours” battle. Or war.

“Parents are most stressed out and most worried about the first birthday,” Kothari said, because they have no experience giving a child’s party. Some do too much, rather than be caught doing too little.

None of this means, though, that piñatas and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey are passé.

“I grew up in Ohio,” said Kothari, where “the bar is not high.”

But if you’re thinking it’s a waste because your child won’t even remember it, party planner Godish has a solution.

“People say they’re not going to remember anything,” said Godish, “that’s why there are video cameras!”

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