That's a very fine Chardonnay you're not drinking...

When explaining his morning routine, Patrick Bateman (Bret Easton Ellis's lovable YUPPIE serial killer) says, "I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older."

Ethanol companies should pay attention. Corn-based ethanol (also an alcohol) does the same thing, especially to engines, pipelines, and storage tanks. Its high affinity to water makes ethanol very corrosive. This erosive quality has hindered the distribution of the corn juice - many cars can't handle it, existing pipelines can't carry it, and gas stations can't pump it.

Science to the rescue.

According to an article published in The Economist, Dupont and British Petroleum have teamed up to create bio-butanol, a sugar based alcohol fermented using bacteria. Unfortunately, like ethanol, it yields around 15% less energy than gas, but unlike ethanol, it's less corrosive and easier to distribute. But don't stop at bio-butanol, The Economist says new bio-fuels could be on the way.

Four U.S. firms, Codexis, Amyris, LS9 and Synthetic Genomics are working to create enzymes that could some day be substitutes for gasoline. I'm no bio-engineer - finished one credit short - but basically these companies use bacteria to engineer enzymes with carbon/oxygen structures similar to petroleum. Apparently more carbon means more energy. Ethanol and butanol might be greener than gas, but they lack that petroleum punch. The hope is that these enzymes could create biocrude or pure hydrocarbons that have the power of gas, with the renewable greenness of ethanol. As for now, get used to paying $2.80 a gallon.