Smart Cars are Pretty Dumb

The Chicago Tribune has an article about how Mercedes is trying to take advantage of the GREEN fad and market tiny, rolling death traps to American Drivers.

Have you seen that picture – are those cars or roller skates?

Actually these Smart Cars are not new to me. I first encountered one in Madrid – actually every time my buddy drank 20 cervezas he’d slur, “hey – I bet I can tip this thing over.” Man I would hope so - they’re basically shopping carts with headlights. Luckily, I usually only had around 15 beers in me and was able to talk him out of any destruction.

But what is the selling point of these cars: You can park them? They’re gas efficient?

Great. They are also freakishly small, can only fit two people, and there is no trunk. Not to mention that they are not that cheap ranging from $12,000 to $16,000.

Who would want to throw down $12,000 for a death trap of a car that has no storage space, can only fit two people, and really shouldn’t be driven on any highways?

Well, apparently 20,000 people have all ready preordered one. I would love to get my hands on that list – I have some sub-prime backed CDO’s that I need to unload.

The only place these cars might make sense is on the island Manhattan, but something tells me those golf cart tires and narrow wheel base won’t do to well in the snow – in fact, it looks like an ice cube could make the car roll over.

But Mercedes is touting the unique steel cage “safety cell” designed to keep riders safe in an accident. Besides collisions involving tricycles, the safety cell will do as much good as an umbrella in a hurricane.

But there is an upside. If you do get in an accident, money won’t be wasted on a coffin – you can be buried right in your Smart Car.