Recount: A Magazine of Contemporary Politics

Making a Choice

By Cristi Hegranes | Oct 18, 2004 Print

“I’m not crazy,” says Mary Adams*, 26, by way of introduction.  “I just think people are crazy in this country and this campaign is really getting to me.”

Adams has never been interested in politics.  She has never voted in any election.  And she had never considered her rights as an American and as a woman until she had an abortion last year.

“The sperm came from a repeat sex offender,” she says, her wispy blonde hair hanging just over her eyes.  “That’s the simplest way to put it.”

She met “the sperm,” as she put it, at a bar in Brooklyn 18 months ago.  After dating for only a short while and having no knowledge of his criminal history, Adams says that she was raped after being drugged with Rohypnol, or “roofies.” She never pressed charges and several weeks later when she found out she was pregnant, she had a nervous breakdown.

“I wanted to kill myself,” she says, standing on the corner of Elizabeth Street and Bleeker in Manhattan, the site of a Planned Parenthood clinic where Adams now volunteers.

“I reached out for help but never really received it.  I was locked up in a psych ward and had a ton of counseling afterward,” she says calmly.

It took more than a year for her to come to terms with both the rape and the abortion.  Not long after she started working again, in a restaurant in Greenwich Village, Adams began to join some online pro-choice chat groups, and she began to listen more closely to what two men touring the country had to say.

“I heard a Bush speech on abortion and I threw up, literally,” she says.  “Then I heard Kerry and I thought, My God, I have to vote.  This guy has to win.”

Adams is what she calls a “strict Catholic.” And she calls President George W. Bush’s religious rhetoric about abortion a lot of bad names, but mostly she says, “It’s a fear-based lie.”

“In my situation, it finally came down to just me and God.  He supported me through it and he is still there for me now.  I asked for forgiveness and I received it,” she says.  “To tell people that God is on one side or another only reveals a great stupidity — not about the issue, but about God,” she says flatly, looking up from her nails, which she incessantly bites.

Adams has been a volunteer at Planned Parenthood, the same site where she had her abortion, for two months.  “It’s not much,” she says of her light office duties at the clinic.  “But it’s something.”

Stuffing envelopes is not all she does to further this cause.  She has joined several local action groups that not only talk about pro-choice issues but also about what Adams believes is the biggest issue of this election – Supreme Court justices.

“Why aren’t we hearing about what will happen to the court if Bush is re-elected?” she asks. 

At least one Supreme Court justice is getting close to retirement, and this election could dramatically affect the justice system more so than any other election in recent history.  Experts say that if President Bush is re-elected, he could steer the court towards the extreme right.  And vise versa — if Democratic Senator John Kerry wins in November, he is expected to bring the court left of center.

“Clearly, the next president will be able to shape the course of justice in this country, not just for four years, but for 40 years,” Nan Aron, president of the liberal-leaning Alliance for Justice, told the Minneapolis Star Tribune recently.

Unfortunately for Adams and the thousands of other pro-abortion voters across the nation, that one justice looking toward retirement is Sandra Day O’Connor, the court’s well-known swing vote.  A Bush victory followed by the retirement of Justice O’Connor could be disastrous for many whose views on civil liberties stray from President Bush’s.  “I think rights and protections that we Americans cherish will be gravely threatened, particularly in the areas of [abortion] choice, civil rights and gay rights,” Aron told the Tribune.

Adams has also become a follower of Kate Michelman, one of the most powerful pro-choice women in the nation.  Michelman is the former president of National Abortion Reproductive Rights Action League (NARAL).  Michelman too had an abortion in the early seventies and has since devoted her life to the pro-choice cause.  Most recently, she stepped down from her role at NARAL and joined the Democratic National Committee’s “Save Our Courts” campaign.

“If Bush is given the opportunity, he will appoint right-wing Justices to the Supreme Court who will turn the clock back on our hard-won rights and freedoms,” said Michelman on Sept. 24 at a rally in Washington D.C., while standing next to Sen. Kerry.

“She is really inspiring,” Adams says of Michelman.  “I want to be able to turn my life around too.”

Adams says that she is proud of herself for overcoming her terrible abortion experience, but says that even despite the trauma of the ordeal she wouldn’t take it back. “I am always going to remember the month my baby would have been born and I am always going to think about it on the anniversary of my abortion,” she says. “But at least now I know how fortunate I was to have that right, and I won’t just sit quietly and watch it be taken away,” she says.  After a deep breath and a short pause, she adds, “See, I’m not crazy.”

* Not her real name.

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